Not for the Stadium of Fire, which I tried (Miley Cyrus is performing this year), but to go see Jeff! I just bought them because I found a really good deal, but it still was a lot of money. So much for planning on going back in August. I guess he won’t be able to sell all through August. I even told him that we need to find a solution for next year. I really can’t do this again! Even it means we’ll have to take drastic measures like getting rid of our cars… but we’ll think about that later. Today’s Memorial Day and it’s been raining for days here, which is very good for the plants I just planted along the fence by the creek that runs in our backyard–raspberries, grapes, honeysuckle, trumpet vines, elderberry (for all the immune strengthening reasons!). I love seating in the backyard and listen to the murmur of the running waters. Now that we have a fence, the sound relaxes me instead of stressing me out.
Gorgeous Boy had a play at school. It was a Tribute to Broadway, and his class sang “It’s a hard-knock life” from “Annie”. He sang so loud and passionately like a little child only can do, it swelled my heart with love. It made me realize that even though my children have such a privileged life, it’s still hard being a kid-fun but hard. I just read the “Attachment Parenting Book” and even though we’ve been breastfeeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping for years, even from when our first baby was born, I still feel I need to parent more gently. Yesterday I was on the phone with my mom, and I literally lost my balance when she admitted out of the blue that she wishes she hadn’t be so hard on us. I realize now that when she’s disapproved of the ways I handled a situation with my kids, it was because I had done it exactly the same way she would have done it when I was a kid. I know, it’s confusing and a little crazy. I really value the upbringing my parents gave me, but there were things that I really need to get out of my system. Like sometimes, I know the conflicts I have with my 5 year-old are a reflection of the struggles I had with my own mother. I want to have a great relationship with my daughter, without ghosts from the past. So this afternoon, we’ll have our ritual spa, and do our nails, and talk girl talk. For now, it’s about her friends and make-believe stories. Let’s hope that I can earn her trust enough so that in a few years she’ll want to tell me her dreams, and fears and hopes without being afraid of being chastised in any way.
Side note: Chubbers learned how to tiptoe and open the doors: the fridge, the bathroom (unlimited access to the toilet water!), and the PANTRY. So it’s been a non-stop banquet at home, for my three younger babies: El Cangri, Chubbers, and Dandi the dog 😉